💥VGOM Adventure #6: “The Gold, the Glitch, and the Guy with Too Many Teeth”💥

🥃 Scene One: BEER Me Up, Scotty

In the golden dust of Kentucky, down a cracked asphalt strip so forgotten it didn’t even qualify for a name, there stood a bar. Not The bar. The only bar. The sign simply read:

BEER

No hours. No menus. No vibe. Just existential hops and regret.

Into this roadside abyss swaggered a young, baby-faced VGOM—Virtual Guardians Old Man, only not so “Old” yet. Clad in khakis too pressed for the locals’ liking and sporting a full set of teeth, he was greeted with an ice-cold stare and a gravelly growl:

“I don’t like you… you got too many teeth.”

VGOM grinned wider. Trouble was brewing, and so was opportunity.

🖥️ Scene Two: Novell, No-Problem

Fort Knox was in a jam. Not a “someone-stole-the-gold” jam, but worse: networking issues.

Their shiny new Novell servers were ghosting everyone. No pings, no shares, just digital silence.

The IT staff had tried everything—sacrifices to the Ethernet gods, blowing on the floppy drives, even rebooting twice (a cardinal sin in the 90s). Nothing worked.

Enter VGOM, sliding in with a laptop heavier than a small planet and confidence louder than a dial-up modem. Within minutes, he found the culprit:

A guest account on the Novell box…

Username: guest

Password: password

Fort Knox had basically left the back door open and taped a note that said, “We trust you.”

VGOM logged in.

Technically? He broke into Fort Knox.

Legally? It was already broken when he got there.

🛠️ Scene Three: The Patch Job Heard ’Round the Base

Did VGOM download the gold inventory files?

Nope.

Did he pose for a selfie with a vault door?

Also no. Smartphones hadn’t been invented.

Instead, he did what heroes do.

He patched the gaping hole in their digital fortress, slapped on proper security protocols, and gave a stern talking-to about passwords that aren’t the first word you think of while blinking.

As he packed up, the bartender from BEER hollered across the parking lot:

“You still got too many teeth!”

VGOM smiled wider.

Because heroes don’t flinch.

They just log in, lock it down, and leave without touching the gold.